Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
