names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
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when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
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He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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