the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
