Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
