eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
