i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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