great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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