Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
