Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
