why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
