I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
