I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
it was like eating out sand paper
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
