he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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