I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
