so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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