Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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