I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
