dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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