I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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