So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
