omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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