i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she looked like the before picture.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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