Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
