I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
