I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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