At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
we're so committed to being not committed
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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