R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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