what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
