Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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