do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
