I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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