You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We talked him into tasing himself.
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She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
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Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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