I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
