Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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