Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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