so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
