i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
