Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
