doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
