you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
