great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I want a musical about memes.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
