Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...