Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(831): View more from California

theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it

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(916): View more from California

Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'

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(310): View more from California

i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(204): View more from Manitoba

they're like a gay fantastic four

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea

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(416): View more from Toronto

Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....

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(714): View more from California

I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics

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