My friends, they love my intelligence
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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