if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
