Swine flu. Run for my life!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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