did you get engaged???
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
