Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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