it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I lost the right to judge tonight
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
