We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
