its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
