i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
