i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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