my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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