i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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