Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
