I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
