I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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