he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i think i just lost a toe
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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