Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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