You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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