How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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