i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize