dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
