People with herpes should wear stickers.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
